SOONER

My Swimming Trunks Have Been Sucked Off May 2026

Dry off. Laugh it off. And for the love of all that is chlorinated, buy a tighter suit. Have you lost your swimwear to a rogue pool filter? Share your story in the comments below. Let’s build a support group. We’ll meet at the hot tub—where there are no drains.

They handed them to me on a mop handle. I have never pulled on a pair of shorts faster in my life. If you are reading this because your swimming trunks have been sucked off, take heart. In the grand spectrum of public humiliation, this is a 7/10 for embarrassment but a 1/10 for actual harm. No one remembers the naked guy for more than five minutes—unless he does a naked lap. Don’t do that. My Swimming Trunks Have Been Sucked Off

One second I was relaxing. The next, I was standing in the shallow end, naked as a newborn, holding my flip-flops for modesty. If your swimming trunks have been sucked off, you are a victim of physics, not fate. Here is what happened: Dry off

For reasons involving faulty pressure valves and a suction power set to “industrial vacuum,” the drain decided to take an offering. I felt a gentle tug on my backside. Then a firm pull. Then a violent, upward whoosh as the fabric of my trunks was ripped from my waist, folded into an origami nightmare, and disappeared into the black abyss of the pool’s filtration system. Have you lost your swimwear to a rogue pool filter